Deafening Thoughts

So I'm here at Miraval and about the loudest noise out here is the sound of the electrical wiring, the occasional laughter exchanged among guests, and my thoughts. My thoughts in the stillness might has well be as loud as a crowd of 1000 running on miles of bubble wrap all the while being chased by herd of furious bulls screaming in agony from being gorged in in the buttocks by spears. So bloomin' loud!

Funny thing about these thoughts...their origins are not native to Miraval. These thoughts traveled through time into the present. Over 10 years actually. They bought a ticket, boarded the plane with me at LAX. Flew thousands of feet in the air for hundreds of miles...crossed the state boarder...lodged with me at one of the finest resorts...and now we are sitting in this luxurious misty patio surrounded by the most beautiful desert landscape. Too bad the nature of these thoughts aren't the scientific revolutionary type...No, they more coincide with the victim/activist type, seeking retribution for past unresolved injustices. If I could assign judgement to these thoughts, Id' say "Shame for existing this long! Shame!" Early this year, they came with me to the Grand Canyon. I haven't walked on every square foot of the planet but I'm willing to bet the Grand Canyon is one of the quietest (if not the quietest) on Earth! Tranquility has been preserved by the indigenous tribes. This is the one place on Earth Westerners cannot disturb...and yet...my thoughts managed to trespass and launch the biggest rave of ALL TIME complete with fireworks and Dolby surround sound. "THX. The audience is now deaf!" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wlnI6XjWk_k

This illustration is the best way I can describe my thoughts. They are backed with unexpressed anger, hurt, sadness...and with these thoughts and emotions, I'm left with a level of stress affecting my physicality, mentality, and spirituality that I have yet to shed.

Ha! Judgement aside. I do know this...I have rid my mind and body of quite a bit since I've been here. The environment alone has been healing. The words of experts have provided perspective and helped alleviate great strain...so much so that I'm about to write again.